It’s all in your head (My anxiety and how I overcame it)

It was the year 2013, I was a laid back relaxing 16 year old adolescent in sophomore year high school just trying to pass his math class. As my teacher was giving out his daily lessons, I was taking down notes as usual in my sloppiest hand writing until it hit me. I laid the palm of my right hand against my chest and noticed my heart was pounding hard and with that started a domino effect of signs including sweating, worrying, and a sudden shift of awareness. I decided to get up from my chair and walked toward my teacher saying “I feel like I’m going to die.” This is when I was quickly escorted to the first aid office and was notified that an ambulance was coming. What made the situation worse was that I had the idea that I was having a heart attack (because cardiac diseases run in my bloodline) implemented in my head. I remembered sitting on a chair crying waiting for the ambulance to come while begging God for me to stay alive. As the ambulance brought me to the hospital I had a conversation with the emergency team which made me feel calm it relieved me to the point I was normal.

As my father came in a rush, so did my family I was introduced by a doctor assessing any signs and symptoms of a heart failure. With the final decision the doctor informed me that I had an anxiety attack and diagnosed with anxiety. I was discharged and was brought home in a couple hours but by then it began. The episode by episode of anxiety attacks came in every single day consuming every bit of confidence I had and destroying what my conscience held up. I came to an acceptance that I was ready to die to diverge into what I believed in was my destiny. My school work, hobbies, and social life has slowly diminished this is the catalyst for my father to set up days for a meeting with a psychologist.

After several weeks of sessions I was given medication to counteract my anxiety attacks. Did it help? Yes, yes it did. Sadly there were adverse effects; I had constant headaches accompanied with dizziness.  After a week of complaining, my father discontinued my medication and officially gave me a piece of his mind. He sincerely told me that everything that has been happening lately is all because it’s in my head and that if I do not learn how to control myself, I will be in a constant state of absurdity. So this started it all, the first week I had nearly anxiety attacks every single day but I tried my hardest to control. Second week I started this routine that I discovered on the web, whenever I had an anxiety attack, what I did was shift all my focus to the smallest things especially my senses. If I had anxiety attack I would listen directly to the bird’s chirping outside the classroom window or I would feel the texture of my pencil. This helped a lot because I was constantly distracted instead of focusing on my anxiety attack which made it worst. 3rd week I was able to adapt to my anxiety attacks and from there on it slowly disappeared. I do have anxiety attacks here and there now-a-days but I’m able to control it which shows significant improvements from where I started to now.

This story just shows that problems can all be in your head and rationalizing a solution is the alternative to thinking about the problem instead. I tend to look back at those moments with a big realization that problems are temporary and our quick intentions are to think about the problem instead of constructing a solution is what causes dread. To cut it short, we should not view our problems with irrational emotions instead use reasoning and develop an understanding of why it happened and what should the interventions be to solve problems.

 

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