Soul Search

Being lost

When we consider ourselves “lost” we tend lean to the idea of us not knowing who we are and this gives us a plethora of soul searching to find out who we are and our role in life.

During a time period in my life, when I started taking photography really seriously I had this stereotypical thinking that if I had to be a successful artist in photography I had to be either an event, wedding, or travel photographer. With this unpleasant mindset I pursued them. There was a problem when it comes to stereotypically thinking that “if it works for them then it’ll work for me” because of the fact that we all have different lives and the action is done because it’s believed to be successful. When pursuing the dogmatic belief, I was constantly believing my worth is how much clients I have, the likes on my IG, and the exposure I have in the photography world. This was the stage where I was constantly depressed because my social factor in photography was considered insufficient to live my life successfully. 

I started doing things for business rather than for the love of my passion; every time there was a creative event, I attended mearly for my exposure to other creatives rather than enjoy surrounding myself with people with amazing minds, every photoshoot I had was only for IG or any other social platform to raise more likes rather than loving the art and indulging in it, I didnt do things because I loved it, I did it to feel like I’m successful. I became lost and entirely exhausted from what I was doing.

The realization

Then it hit me that my goal isnt towards what I love. I took a week off of shooting and I sat in my room contemplating on who I am as a photographer. I got rid of my mindset that tortured me throughout the months and began soul searching, I started shooting by myself in random moments and took my camera everywhere including in school just to find what can rekindle my fire for photography. Then all of sudden my group of friends decided to chill on top of hill, this is when my fire for photography cam alive because we all just enjoyed the moment. This is when I felt like I can really shoot without stressing without all that anxiety building up trying to pursue a goal that isnt mine.

There are several lessons I took when this crisis happened.

1. The road to success isn’t the same for everybody. 

This is a perception we have to take because every road is not gonna work out for everybody especially if the individual doesnt have the right purpose of taking it.

 2. Love before the goal

Before you pursue a goal make sure you have the passion to make actions therefore it wont feel so much of a burden.

3. Dont be afraid to soul search

It took me awhile to find what I really love to do in photography. But a bit of soul searching really helps you know yourself a bit more. This probably allowed my mind to open up to new things when I just sit down and just self reflect.

By the end of the day its only you who can know you. So if you ever feel lost star soul searching and find what you are meant to be.

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